Jerk
Friday, October 15, 2004
Right now, I feel like a jerk. I've been so stressed lately, and my patience level has dropped significantly. It's amazing that I can even retain my head in these times. I think I've hurt some people with my sharp tongue.
To those, I'm sorry. I hope you all can continuously forgive me for my short-comings.
To be reminded of this reality is to despise myself more... and then fall into that dark space of my previous blogs... where I am alone... and God is not the center of my life.
Last night, I sat in my car and made a plea to God... to surround me with Him. To make me more like Him. And give me rest because I am so tired. I want to run away from all the responsibilities I have... the expectations... I want to stop hearing the voice in my head, narrating everything that goes on in my little world. I'm tired of hearing my voice... I'm tired of hearing my complaints. I want to turn it off. I want God to turn it off... so I can enjoy what is really in my little world: such big things.
To those, I'm sorry. I hope you all can continuously forgive me for my short-comings.
To be reminded of this reality is to despise myself more... and then fall into that dark space of my previous blogs... where I am alone... and God is not the center of my life.
Last night, I sat in my car and made a plea to God... to surround me with Him. To make me more like Him. And give me rest because I am so tired. I want to run away from all the responsibilities I have... the expectations... I want to stop hearing the voice in my head, narrating everything that goes on in my little world. I'm tired of hearing my voice... I'm tired of hearing my complaints. I want to turn it off. I want God to turn it off... so I can enjoy what is really in my little world: such big things.
i live in a giant bucket.
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