Breath taking
Monday, April 25, 2005
This past week has been such a roller coaster.
I've contemplated quitting work at church about 1 million times. I chipped my tooth, got it repaired by my uncle (yes, he is a dentist). He did it for free cos he's not in my insurance network. Stupid crap. Made an appointment for the end of May to get the rest of my dental work done. For the first time in a long time, I've felt the sting of having no money again. I've looked at countless wedding websites. Drooled over a few PRS guitars. Decided to give one of my guitars to Spencer. He really wanted to buy it. But I can't get myself to sell it to him.
And this morning I realized: I am never ready when I feel that I am "out of season". Oswald Chambers once again rebuked me.
I've contemplated quitting work at church about 1 million times. I chipped my tooth, got it repaired by my uncle (yes, he is a dentist). He did it for free cos he's not in my insurance network. Stupid crap. Made an appointment for the end of May to get the rest of my dental work done. For the first time in a long time, I've felt the sting of having no money again. I've looked at countless wedding websites. Drooled over a few PRS guitars. Decided to give one of my guitars to Spencer. He really wanted to buy it. But I can't get myself to sell it to him.
And this morning I realized: I am never ready when I feel that I am "out of season". Oswald Chambers once again rebuked me.
"One of the worst traps a Christian worker can fall into is to become obsessed with his own exceptional moments of inspiration. When the Spirit of God gives you a time of inspiration and insight, you tend to say, "Now that I’ve experienced this moment, I will always be like this for God." No, you will not, and God will make sure of that. Those times are entirely the gift of God. You cannot give them to yourself when you choose."I'm so full of myself.
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